The lawyers that we have on retainer forced us to have this up. Therefore, we want you to know that we did it even though it took many bribes. However, please check this out! There is so much neat stuff that you never knew you were in danger from not obeying. What this means is that you have to be careful with what you do on our page, which is why reading this entire thing can help you a lot.
It could save you from court.
We run this site, www.treadmillwatch.com, so that you and others in the world can use it for fun and entertainment of a personal nature, or for informational, communicative, educational and other gratifying reasons. Feel free to browse to your heart’s content.
You can also download things from our site, but be sure that you do so only for non-commercial use. Furthermore, if you download things from here you keep them to yourself, do not share them or use them for commercial non-personal reasons. If you transmit, distribute, modify, reuse, repost, give to your kids, or do anything naughty with the video, audio, images, or text on this site, we will get you.
It is also important to note that since you are here reading this, by checking out any more of the site you are stuck with the rules here. They are important! Please read them and do not just click accept as you were planning.
These rules apply to the Internet, the World Wide Web, The Entire Universe, and your local regulations and laws.
There is no turning back if you accept. You are stuck with them forever, so be careful.
Without further ado, we give you the Important Rules for Our Site!
1. For the safety and sake of anybody involved with our site, please assume that everything here is copyrighted. This means that you can only use the stuff in the way we say, when we say, and not any other way. You cannot use it without permission, so we do not want to see it being used anywhere or we will be really mad. Our lawyers will also veto and requests to use our stuff, so do not ask, sorry.
2. We do our best to try to include accurate stuff on our site. However, we are never going to promise that any of if it accurate. We promise that you will have fun, though! So, please be sure to use this site at your own risk. If you see something so awesome that it blows up your monitor, it is not our fault. We cannot be held responsible or liable for omissions or errors on this site.
3. Anybody who was part of creating our site, or who produce or deliver things on it, can also never be held liable for damages you suffer while on here. Our lawyers have been bugging us since they noticed you started reading this to tell you the following.
Any indirect, punitive, direct, incidental or consequential damages that happen because you used or accessed this site, not limited to implied, expressed, or merchant warranties (including non-infringement or fitness) could not be held against us. However, if you live somewhere that excludes the implied warranties, please disregard this. However, always check up on your local laws and regulations to be sure of what is allowed and what is not.
This basically means that nothing that happens on our site like you getting a virus that makes your computer turn into an evil AI, or scares you, can be pointed to us. We take no responsibility for this, and you need to understand it is all information provided, AS IS, which means you need to not take risks you cannot handle. We really hope that you do not get a virus, or have a sentient computer attack you, but if this does happen, we are sorry and hope you get better! Nevertheless, do not call us to complain because we cannot help you.
4. Be smart! If you have things that you do not want the entire world to know, do not post on any part of our site with that particular information. Anything that you post here is ours, yay! This means that we own it and can do whatever we want. If there are secrets, tricks of the trade, expertise, techniques, or concepts and ideas you have and post on here, we own it. We can disclose it, transmit it, reproduce it, publish and broadcast it, develop, manufacture, market, or share anything you post. We will even let your family and friends know what you did. SO, be smart and do not share things you want to keep hidden.
5. Any pictures of people or places on here are out property, or the property of someone who is affiliated with us. We have permission to use these things, you do not, we do not share, and you cannot use them. This means that you really do not have the right to use or touch any of our things. Do not let us find you doing so or we will be super mad! Just keep whatever you download to yourself and give us lovely reviews. Sole Treadmills are the property of Sole Fitness.
6. Our site features a lot of logos, service marks, and trademarks in their natural habitat. These creatures live and breathe solely to be cute and protect whatever they are stuck with. If you mess with them, you mess with our lawyers and us. This means that we will have to sue you or bring the law against you in order to restore what is ours, and to bring these little critters home. If you leave the logos, service marks, and trademarks alone, you will be fine. Leave things along that are not yours and you will have a great time here! Other trademarks or the sole properties of the respective owners, specifically Sole Fitness and Sole F80 Treadmill.
7. There are bunches of links on our site that lead you to other sites. Please be careful when you click these as we do not have enough labor (err, employees) to check them out. We know that they are neat at times, but they might cause you to become sucked into another dimension full of puffy pink kittens, or even to underwater worlds of scariness. In short, browse these sites at your own risk because we have no control over them, but cannot be held responsible for what happens to you when you visit them.
8. This brings us to what happens on our site and what you do here. We do like to check in and listen to what you say on chat groups, forums and discussions. However, we will not be held liable or responsible for anything that you see on these sites such as libel, omissions, mistakes, defamation, slander, obscenity, falsehoods, obscenity, pornography (please do not look), or potty words that you see. Also, do not think about sharing anything that could be thought of as pornographic (please, please do not share yours, eww), nasty, downright mean, libelous, threatening, unlawful, defamatory, inflammatory, obscene, scandalous, pictures of your favorite foods and drinks or anything that may be considered unlawful or illegal. If you do and we feel scared or threatened, we will be forced to get legal help. We do not want to have to get you in trouble for the legal offenses or see you in court, but, seriously, we have to think about ourselves. So, if anything, you do violates any type of law you need to stop. We respect your privacy, but not more than the safety of our site.
10. You should already know that we have the right to change whatever we want at any time that we want. The programmers sometimes do this for fun so that we do not know where our site is, or where things are, which is quite fun for them (they are friends with the evil lawyers we hire). So, if you visit the page and see the changes, you are stuck with these changes. Sorry!
11. If anybody wants to sue someone, there are rules of engagement that have to be followed, no matter what. These are kind of like the Geneva Convention or something similar, or so we were told. This agreement is going to be governed by the United Kingdoms without regard to any conflict of laws. If you have in any way, shape or form violated or threatened our affiliates, our friends, or us; you will have to defend yourself. This is because we are going to seek injunctive or other court relief. This will be done via London, so be sure to get your travel bags ready if you cross us. You have little choice in this and must consent to the venue and jurisdiction of these courts.
12. We do have teams of lawyers that we call in, that do things for us and if you are stupid enough to make any comment to any staff member, on any subject for that matter, that is going to be monitored. There will be times when you can expect no contact at all from us as to the subject. No more.
If there is any dispute that arises under this, we will first attempt to fix it with the help of a mediator that we both agreed upon within London.
Any fees or costs that are accrued, other than personal attorney fees, are going to be split equally between us (which is pretty nice). Should it prove impossible for us to reach a mutually agree with through mediation, we need to then move up to the big people and file a dispute with the American Arbitration Association. This means the problem has gotten far out of hand and cannot be dealt with except by those in higher powers.
It makes life a lot easier!
That might all sound awful, but in reality, it protects all of us. Just be a good person and do not steal, manipulate, or trash talk and threaten us. You will be happy, we will be happy, and we will not have to meet in the town square at noon with our dueling banjos.
Thanks for reading!